Should I Buy: The Guide to Finding the Perfect…

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that the next product—whether it’s a fancy mattress, ergonomic chair, or perfect pillow—will be the magic bullet to ease your pain. I get asked ALOT, Amy, should I buy…. Here’s the thing: no single item can solve everything because comfort is personal. It’s not about finding the “right” product according to experts or trends; it’s about finding what works for you. In this blog post we will explore some guidelines while remembering you are unique. You are allowed to do what works for you.

Should I Buy This to Ease My Pain?

Let’s get real—there’s no one-size-fits-all solution for comfort. Your body is unique, and it’s not always about what the latest ergonomic design says is best. You might try a product that others rave about only to discover it does nothing for you. That’s because you’re trying to fix the wrong problem.

Take mattresses, for example. We’re always told to follow certain rules: side sleepers need a medium-soft mattress, back sleepers need something firmer, etc. Sounds simple, right? My partner and I bought into this idea last January, when we purchased a mattress specifically recommended for side sleepers. The guidelines said it would be perfect for us—great pressure relief, medium-firm, supportive in all the right places.

But let me tell you, it was a disaster. We spent the next ten months trying everything to make it work. We added mattress toppers, rearranged our pillows, adjusted our sleeping positions. And guess what? We still woke up restless and achy. Before this supposedly perfect mattress, we’d been sleeping just fine! Finally, after months of discomfort, we gave up, returned the mattress, and went with one that simply felt good to us.

The moral of the story? What looks perfect on paper doesn’t always translate into real comfort. It’s about tuning into your body and figuring out what truly calms your nervous system. Because that’s the goal: reducing stress, not forcing your body into some biomechanical ideal.

The Role of Comfort in Pain Relief

Comfort plays a huge role in calming the nervous system. When you’re uncomfortable, it’s like setting off alarm bells in your body, ramping up tension and making pain worse. The opposite is also true—when you feel supported and at ease, your nervous system can settle down, which can ease pain.

When you’re making these purchases, the goal is to calm your nervous system. Whether it’s a mattress, chair, pillow, or even a car, the key question is: Does it feel good to me? Not, “Is this the latest ergonomic trend?” or “Does everyone else swear by this?”

Guidelines Are Just Guidelines

There are general guidelines that can be helpful when buying things like mattresses, chairs, or even cars when you have chronic pain. They can give you a starting point, but they’re not rules you need to follow religiously. I can appreciate the need for a starting place, so here ya go.

Mattress Selection: Should I Buy This to Ease My Pain?

When it comes to a mattress, the one you sleep best on is crucial—especially if you’re living with chronic pain. Many people are told to get a firm mattress, but one-size-fits-all advice doesn’t always apply to those with complex pain.

Here’s how to find the right mattress for you:

1. Consider Your Sleeping Position: Side sleepers often benefit from a mattress that cushions pressure points like the hips and shoulders. Medium-firm mattresses are usually a good balance of support and comfort for side sleepers. If you’re a back sleeper, you may need a firmer mattress for best comfort.
2. Test the Mattress for Motion Transfer: If you’re sensitive to movement (or share a bed with someone who tosses and turns), look for a mattress that reduces motion transfer. Memory foam and hybrid mattresses often excel in this area.
3. Prioritize Pressure Relief: For those with chronic pain, especially in the hips, lower back, or shoulders, a mattress that conforms to your body can reduce discomfort. Memory foam, latex, and hybrid mattresses often provide good pressure relief while still offering support.
4. Trial Periods and Warranties: Many mattress companies offer trial periods (sometimes up to 365 days), which allows you to sleep on the mattress for an extended time before committing. Be sure to ask about warranties that cover sagging or other defects that could worsen your sleep.

Helpful Suggestion: If you’re unsure whether memory foam or a hybrid option is right for you, consider mattresses with adjustable firmness or customizable layers. These allow you to fine-tune the feel based on your changing needs.

Chair Selection: Should I Buy This to Ease My Pain?

Whether you’re sitting at a desk or lounging in the living room, many want to know what the perfect chair is to relieve their pain. If you spend long periods sitting, I am not so sure it’s the chair, it’s more likely to be prolonged positioning! But here are some things to consider.

1. Look for Ergonomic Designs: Ergonomic chairs are designed to support the natural curve of your spine, which may, or may not, help lower back pain. Chairs with adjustable lumbar support, armrests, and seat height are especially helpful, as they allow you to customize the fit to your body.
2. Consider Seat Cushioning and Tilt: A chair that’s too firm can cause discomfort, but a chair that’s too soft can cause you to sink. Look for a chair that offers a balance between comfort and support, with seat cushions that maintain their shape. Tilt functionality can also help you lean back slightly to relieve pressure and vary positions.
3. Use Foot Support if Needed: A footrest can reduce pressure on your legs and lower back. As well as offer you more choices for positioning. Give it a try and see if you like it.

Helpful Suggestion: If you sit for long hours at a desk, take short breaks every 30-45 minutes to stand, stretch, or walk around. This prevents stiffness and often is the best way to reduce pain.

Car Selection: Should I Buy This to Ease My Pain?

Many people obsess over the importance of car ergonomics. I get it, prolonged driving or even sitting can aggravate pain. Whether you’re buying a new car or modifying your current one, here’s a few things you can try:

1. Look for Adjustable Seats: A car with fully adjustable seats, especially those with lumbar support, can make long drives more bearable. Ensure that you can adjust the seat’s height, tilt, and lumbar settings. Heated seats can also feel really good, particularly for those with back pain or joint issues.
2. Check the Seat Cushioning: Seats that are too firm or too soft can be uncomfortable, especially in the lower back. Test out the seat cushioning before committing to a purchase. You can always add a towel role or seat cushion to tweak how things feel for those flare days.
3. Steering Wheel and Pedal Adjustment: Being able to adjust the steering wheel’s height and distance from the seat ensures you’re driving in the most comfortable position for you. Some vehicles also allow pedal adjustments, making it easier to adjust for your height and length – which can ease that sciatic pain!
4. Vehicle Height Matters: Low cars can be difficult to get in and out of, especially for people with hip or back pain. SUVs or crossover vehicles are often easier to enter and exit. If you’re driving a smaller car, consider adding support handles or using a swivel seat cushion to reduce strain. There are some really neat adaptive devices out there to make this easier!

Helpful Suggestion: Take your car for a test drive and pay attention to how your body feels after sitting in it for 10-15 minutes. Don’t be afraid to request adjustments from the dealership or consider aftermarket modifications.

Pillow Selection: Should I Buy This to Ease My Pain?

Pillows

1. Match the Pillow to Your Sleeping Position: Side sleepers are suggested a firm, high-loft pillow. Back sleepers may benefit from a medium-loft pillow. If you sleep on your stomach, use a very thin pillow or none at all while you are wrangling your neck pain.
2. Consider Specialty Pillows: Pillows made from memory foam or latex can contour to your head and neck, providing both support and pressure relief. For those with neck pain, a cervical or contour pillow might be especially helpful in offering feelings of support and cradling.
3. Pillow Fill Matters: Natural fill pillows, such as down or feather, tend to be soft and moldable, but they may not provide the structured support you need. Synthetic fills and foam pillows tend to hold their shape better and provide more consistent support throughout the night.
4. Don’t Forget About Allergies: If you have allergies or sensitivities, make sure your pillow is hypoallergenic and dust mite resistant. Chronic pain can feel worse when combined with interrupted sleep from congestion or allergic reactions.

Helpful Suggestion: Replace your pillow every 1-2 years, as pillows lose their support over time. A good test is to fold your pillow in half—if it doesn’t spring back to shape, it’s time for a new one, unless you like it that way! I have a down pillow that I have had for 20+ years. You can have it over my dead body!

Trust Your Own Body

So, next time you’re debating, should I buy, something specific to ease your pain, listen to your body. Try things out. And don’t be afraid to return or swap out something that isn’t working, even if it’s supposed to be “the best.” No product can fix you because your pain isn’t purely biomechanical—it’s personal, and your solution is too.

By focusing on what feels good to you, you’ll not only make better purchasing decisions, but you’ll also start to trust your body more, and that’s a huge step forward in your healing journey.

If you are looking for more information about how to heal your chronic pain, check out my sister site full of self-paced online courses! https://education.restoringvenus.com (This is an easy yes to the question, should I buy!)