Ok, I admit it… I have no idea what it means to live a “normal” life. I’ve always kinda walked to the beat of my own drum as it were. Life was certainly FAR from normal when I was laying down and on narcotics trying to figure out how to get downstairs to feed my kids breakfast and get them off to school so I could come back and lay down until school was over. I mean come on – THAT’s not “normal” but it was OUR normal. My kids learned the value of responsibility and chores early. They had to, it was the only way to keep the house running. They brought ice packs, learned to give back and shoulder rubs, and knew when to call Dad at work because the pain was too bad and I needed to be knocked out, but didn’t want them to be “alone”. They could operate the mechanical devices in the house better and faster than I could! My daughter at the age of 7 found she loves to cook eggs and LOVES to use herbs in them. My son has a knack for helping others, listening, and just being present – he would make a great therapist when he is older if he chooses. But they ALL know how to pitch in. They were little so of course, there was whining and complaining, but in the end, they realize it is what it is.
The other day my kids were really frustrated. The kids had been alternating weeks at camp, and various activities that had them running in different directions, I’d been in class 2 days a week and that’s an all-day deal with the hour drive on either end, and my hubby is coaching a country club springboard diving to fill his passion this summer. Needless to say, we have been “normal” busy. The busy the rest of the world knows – but not us, well not my kids! They have NEVER lived a busy life… I couldn’t accommodate it. Well, all of this “normal” ended with my children in tears saying how much “easier” it was when I was hurt. That we cuddled more, talked more, and spent more time together and they MISSED that. My daughter, in a moment of sheer emotion and frustration, screamed I wish you never got better, I wish you were still in bed!
WOW… that stung. ok – no it was like a giant ax split my body in two. She was immediately mortified by what she said and then started crying harder… I just held her and waited for my own shock to end. Her message was simple. I’ve lost my balance. I am busy. I LOVE that I can be busy. My mind is alive, my body is alive, my spirit is alive… all of my hums with the various things I can do these days.
but she’s right – busy shouldn’t be “normal” any more than laying in bed all day should be. We continue as a family to work together to accomplish things, and I have promised the kids that I will spend SOME time laying down, just so we can cuddle – I mean what Mom doesn’t want that?!
