In the journey of managing chronic pain, discovering small pockets of joy and safety, often referred to as “glimmers,” can lead to significant improvements in well-being. These brief moments of positivity are not just fleeting emotions; they hold the potential to spark significant personal growth and strengthen social connections. Research indicates that even fleeting positive emotions can have long-lasting, supportive consequences on personal growth and social connection. As Deb Dana, a Polyvagal researcher and author, eloquently puts it, “It’s almost as if this micro-moment—this glimmer—is the beginning of what can become a really big change.” In this blog post, we will explore the concept of glimmers and how harnessing them can pave the way to less suffering and a more fulfilling life.
What Are Glimmers?
Glimmers are subtle cues that shift your nervous system into a state of safety and connection, activating what’s known as the ventral vagal state. When your nervous system picks up on these cues, it moves into “social engagement mode,” where you feel safe, calm, and relaxed. For people living with chronic pain, recognizing these moments can be a powerful tool to bring the body out of hypervigilance and into a state of healing.
In Restoring Venus, you can see how noticing these glimmers were a turning point in shifting how I related to my pain. Pain makes us so focused on all the things that are wrong that we forget to pay attention to the little things that feel right. But when you start looking for glimmers—like that moment when your pain eases just a bit or when a friend’s smile lifts your mood—you start to see that your body and your life are still capable of joy, even amidst the struggle.
How Are Glimmers Different from Triggers?
While triggers remind us of pain, fear, or past trauma that needs addressing, glimmers signal the opposite—they remind us of safety, calm, and joy. ] A trigger is a signal or a reminder of something that needs work, attention, or is even painful — for example, a weak spot in your relationship — glimmers are a signal of something that is running smoothly.
The ability to distinguish between triggers and glimmers in daily life can greatly enhance mental health and offer a more balanced perspective. Being able to recognize both triggers and glimmers in your daily life is an incredible life skill and can be a game-changer for your mental health and your pain.
The Science Behind Glimmers
The concept of glimmers is rooted in Polyvagal Theory, introduced by behavioral neuroscientist Stephen Porges in 1995. This theory explains how our autonomic nervous system constantly scans the environment for cues that signal safety or danger. When we detect glimmers—those subtle signs of safety—the ventral vagal pathway activates, bringing us into “social engagement mode.” This is the state where we feel safe, connected, and open to the world.
Hypervigilance isn’t so great
For those of us dealing with chronic pain, living in a state of hypervigilance, where everything feels like a threat, is all too common. Our nervous system can get stuck in a sympathetic state, the “fight-or-flight” mode, or even a dorsal vagal state, which is more like “shut down.” By actively seeking out glimmers, we help retrain our nervous system to spend more time in the ventral vagal state, where healing and relaxation can occur.
In my memoir, Restoring Venus, when my body was stuck in fight-or-flight mode, every little pain felt amplified, like my whole body was screaming for help. But as I started focusing on those moments of safety—those small joys like hearing my daughter laugh or feeling of being back in the pool —I noticed my nervous system slowly settling. It wasn’t a magic fix, but it was a shift toward peace, one moment at a time.
Why Glimmers Matter in Chronic Pain
Chronic pain doesn’t just affect your body—it impacts your mind, your emotions, and your spirit. Pain makes you hyper-aware of everything that’s wrong, everything that hurts. And that hyper-awareness keeps your nervous system on edge, constantly scanning for danger, making it harder to relax or feel safe.
But by noticing glimmers—those tiny moments of joy or calm—you create opportunities to shift out of that state of hypervigilance. These small moments help your nervous system relax, which can reduce the intensity of your pain. You’re teaching your body that it’s okay to feel safe, even if just for a moment.
Practical Ways to Find Your Glimmers
Finding glimmers can feel difficult when you’re in the midst of chronic pain, but with practice, it gets easier. While much of the activity on the Polyvagal ladder is involuntary, it is possible to regulate your place on the ladder through activities like deep breathing, which can move you from fight-or-flight into the ventral vagal state.
Here are some practical ways to cultivate glimmers in your daily life:
- Mindfulness: Simple mindfulness practices can help you become more aware of the present moment, making it easier to notice glimmers. Try focusing on your breath, paying attention to your body, or simply observing the world around you without judgment.
- Engage Your Senses: Sensory experiences can anchor you in the present and help you notice those small moments of safety. Whether it’s the warmth of the sun on your skin, the taste of your favorite tea, or the sound of birds singing, these moments can bring you back to calm.
- Gratitude Journaling: By writing down things you’re grateful for each day, you train your brain to notice glimmers. Over time, this practice can make you more aware of the positive moments in your life, no matter how small.
- Nature: Spending time in nature has a calming effect on the nervous system. Whether it’s walking through a park, listening to the wind rustle through the trees, or simply sitting outside, nature offers countless opportunities to experience glimmers.
- Social Connection: Spending time with loved ones, even in small ways, can help your nervous system shift into a state of safety. Whether it’s a text from a friend, a hug, or a shared laugh, these moments of connection are glimmers that remind you you’re not alone.
Building a Life Around Glimmers
Glimmers are not about denying the pain or pretending everything is fine. They are about acknowledging the reality of your experience while also recognizing that there is room for joy, safety, and connection, even amidst the pain.
As I share in Restoring Venus, there were days when the pain was so overwhelming that it felt like there was no room for anything else. But the more I started to notice those little moments—the sound of my kids playing, the way the sunlight filtered through the window—the more I realized that I could hold both. I could hold the pain, but I could also hold joy. And those glimmers helped me navigate the hard days with a little more ease.
Final Thoughts
Living with chronic pain is hard, but you don’t have to be stuck in the struggle. By intentionally seeking out and recognizing glimmers—those small moments of safety, joy, and connection—you can help your nervous system find balance, reduce stress, and ultimately, lessen the hold pain has over your life.
As you move through each day, I encourage you to ask yourself: “What feels good right now? Where is my glimmer today?” Whatever it is, let that glimmer remind you that life is still happening, even in the midst of pain. And each glimmer, no matter how small, is a step toward a more balanced, fulfilling life.
If you want a good resource on untangling those emotions so you can better find the glimmers, I highly recommend this course.
