Have you seen Disney’s Encanto yet? If not, then you should! Not only is it a beautiful and uplifting movie, but it also offers some valuable lessons for those of us living with chronic pain. I understand that may seem odd, but trust me. I have a deep appreciation for the lessons in many Disney movies and will be exploring a few in the coming months. In this blog post, let’s chat about the lessons we can learn from the movie and how they apply to our lives.
Encanto teaches us: You Don’t Have to be the Strong One
Living with chronic pain can often make us feel like we need to be the strong ones, constantly putting on a brave face and pretending that everything is okay. We may feel the pressure to take care of everyone else’s needs and put our own aside. But the truth is, we don’t have to be the strong ones all the time. It’s okay to ask for help and lean on others when we need it.
Self-sacrifice can come at a great cost to our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. By constantly prioritizing the needs of others over our own, we risk neglecting our own self-care and exacerbating our pain. We may become depleted and overwhelmed, unable to properly manage our chronic pain. It’s important to remember that taking care of ourselves is not selfish; it’s necessary for our overall well-being.
We don’t have to constantly put on a brave face and hide our pain. Instead, we can be vulnerable and allow ourselves to receive support from others.
Luisa, the eldest sister, sings to us about the weight she carries. She talks about the ways the pressure is wearing on her. She describes the countless ways, as the oldest, she is expected to bear the family’s burdens. How she must carry the weight of those expectations without failure, without making a mistake, without missing anything. With each verse that she sings, you can see how it’s all weighing her down.
Until finally, she muses, “If I could shake the crushing weight of expectations would that free some room up for joy? Or relaxation? Or simple pleasure?”
What about you? What would setting aside all those expectations do for you? How might that change your nervous system?
Our Trauma Affects More Than We Realize
Living with chronic pain often comes with a history of trauma, whether it’s physical, emotional, or both. And while we may believe that our trauma only affects us, the reality is that it can have far-reaching consequences on those around us as well. Disney’s Encanto beautifully illustrates this point and offers us a powerful reminder of the interconnectedness of our experiences.
In the movie, each member of the Madrigal family carries the weight of their expectations and the pressure to live up to their family’s legacy. The Madrigal family’s experiences mirror our own, as chronic pain warriors often face similar challenges of living up to societal expectations, managing limitations, and coping with the emotional toll of their condition.
But what Encanto beautifully portrays is how our trauma can affect not only ourselves but also those we love. We see this with Isabela, who carries the burden of guilt for her family’s loss, which ultimately leads to the suppression of her powers. Isabela’s struggle resonates with many of us who have felt responsible for the pain we experience and have tried to protect our loved ones from our struggles.
When we carry trauma, whether it’s from chronic pain, past experiences, or a combination of both, it often seeps into our relationships. Our loved ones may feel helpless, confused, or burdened by our pain. They may try to fix us, offering well-intentioned advice or trying to alleviate our suffering in any way they can. This can lead to misunderstandings, frustration, and strained connections.
Furthermore, our trauma can inadvertently shape the way we interact with others. It may cause us to withdraw emotionally, pushing away those who want to support us. It may also cause us to become hypervigilant, constantly on guard for any potential triggers or situations that could worsen our pain. These defensive mechanisms can unintentionally increase our pain for a variety of reasons, all nervous system-related!
Encanto teaches us: The Search for Approval
In Disney’s Encanto, the theme of approval is intricately woven throughout the story. The characters in the movie, especially the Madrigal family, yearn for the approval of others and strive to meet the expectations placed upon them. This quest for approval is something that many of us living with chronic pain can relate to.
Living with chronic pain often means dealing with the judgments and misconceptions of others. People may question the validity of our pain, dismiss our struggles, or offer unsolicited advice on how to “fix” ourselves. These external pressures can create a constant need for approval and validation, leading us to doubt our own experiences and question our worth.
But here’s the truth: we don’t need anyone else’s approval to validate our pain or our journey. Our experiences are valid, and our worth is not dependent on the opinions of others. Seeking approval from others can be a never-ending cycle that leaves us feeling empty and unfulfilled.
Instead of seeking external approval, we can shift our focus inward and learn to validate ourselves. We can acknowledge the strength it takes to navigate life with chronic pain and celebrate our resilience. We can embrace self-compassion and recognize that we are doing the best we can in a challenging situation.
Furthermore, it’s important to surround ourselves with a support system that understands and accepts us, pain and all. Connecting with others who share similar experiences can provide a sense of validation and understanding. It can remind us that we are not alone in our struggles and that our pain is real.
So, let’s release the need for approval from others and focus on accepting and approving of ourselves. Let’s surround ourselves with a supportive community that lifts us up and understands our journey. And let’s remember that we are worthy, no matter what anyone else may say.
The Pressure of Perfection
Isabella is the personification of perfectionism and it’s problems. In the movie, she is effortlessly beautiful and graceful. She a metaphor for all the ways we believe perfection is the only option. Her song in Encanto explores what can happen when things aren’t exactly perfect.
Perfection is an elusive concept that many of us strive for, especially when living with chronic pain. We may feel the pressure to appear perfect, to hide our pain, and to present a flawless image to the world. But the truth is, the pursuit of perfection can be detrimental to our well-being.
Living with chronic pain means navigating a world that may not understand or accommodate our limitations. We may feel the need to constantly prove ourselves, to show that we can still accomplish tasks and meet expectations despite our pain. This can lead to a relentless pursuit of perfection, where any sign of weakness or vulnerability is seen as a failure.
The quest for perfection can create a cycle of self-criticism and self-doubt. We may berate ourselves for not being able to do what we used to do or compare ourselves to others who seem to have it all together. These comparisons only serve to amplify our feelings of inadequacy and feed into the belief that we are not enough.
But here’s the thing: perfection is an illusion. It’s an unattainable standard that no one can truly achieve. Drop the perfection, and see how your nervous system responds.
Final Thoughts
Our trauma, expectations of ourselves, our families, and our culture all play a role in our pain stories. Honest communication is a pivotal skill to have to lower our suffering. Perfectionism hurts and fires up our nervous systems, and really isn’t necessary. “Bruno” needs to be talked about. I encourage you to give this film a try, and then try NOT to sing, “We Don’t Talk about Bruno” or any of the other great songs from this movie!
I’d love to hear what you learned! Join the FB group and add your thoughts!
