Many of us have felt it: the tightness in the chest, the heat rising to our cheeks, the gritting of teeth – this is anger. A fundamental human emotion and, like it or not, it can become intricately entwined with our experience of physical pain. Not being heard, feeling the unfairness of living in a world created for the abled-bodied, dealing with the disruption of our daily lives, and lack of effective treatment options can all generate a profound sense of anger. But how does this impact our perception of pain? Let’s explore.
When Pain Leads to Anger
Living with chronic pain goes beyond the physical discomfort. It permeates all aspects of life, altering daily routines and creating obstacles between us and the things we cherish most. Anger is a strong negative emotion that arises as a result of what we perceive to be a threat or unfair treatment that blocks our goals. The relentless battle against discomfort, the constant fatigue, the isolation from feeling like you’re navigating this struggle alone – these can all inevitably spark a deep-seated anger. This anger often springs from a sense of injustice. We question, “Why is this happening to me?” and feel as though life has dealt us an unfair hand. This sense of injustice isn’t just frustrating; it amplifies our emotional response, fueling the fire and potentially intensifying our perception of physical pain. Acknowledging this connection is a vital step on the journey to managing chronic pain effectively.
The Effects of Anger on Our Bodies
When anger takes hold, our bodies naturally react by initiating the ‘fight or flight’ response. This is our body’s, automatic, inbuilt system designed to protect us when we are under threat. As part of this response, our heart rate speeds up, our blood pressure increases, and our bodies produce more adrenaline and noradrenaline. These changes prepare our bodies for immediate action, to fight or to run.
However, when it comes to chronic pain, this reaction can actually work against us. Instead of helping us survive a threat, it can create a harmful cycle. The stress response instigated by anger can amplify our sensation of pain. This increased pain, in turn, can provoke further anger, forming a negative feedback loop.
So, when we say that anger can exacerbate our experience of physical discomfort, it’s not just a metaphor. It’s a literal, physical response happening within our bodies, ramping up our perception of pain. It’s important to keep this in mind as we navigate our journey towards effective pain management.
The Effects of Anger on Our Nervous System
Think of it this way: if you’re always on the lookout for danger, even the slightest hint of it will set you off. That’s what happens when our nervous system is always on alert due to anger. Our bodies start responding to even the smallest sensations more intensely, making the pain we’re already experiencing seem even more severe.
In this context, anger is not just an emotional response; it’s a physical state that directly affects our nervous system, escalating our sensitivity to pain. Acknowledging this fact, that our anger isn’t just a feeling but a force influencing our body’s reactions, is crucial for our journey toward better managing and understanding our chronic pain.
5 Tips for Managing Anger
Recognize:
Anger is typically seen as a “negative” emotion in our society. PFFTTTTTT I say! It’s ok to be pissed! I heard this quote years ago and t changed my very complicated relationship with anger. I hope it helps you too. “Your anger is the part of you that knows your mistreatment and abuse are unacceptable. Your anger knows your deserve to be treated well, and with kindness. Your anger is a part of you that loves you.” So in case you were wondering, yes, it is ok to be pissy.
Reframe
I want your emotions to be productive. They should help lead you from one place to another and bring you a deeper understanding of yourself and the world around you. So, the next time you recognize that you are angry, check in with yourself. What triggered this? Is it something you can change? Either your perspective or your approach to? Let it guide you to your next best choice. Don’t let it stall you out.
Regulate
When we are able to regulate our emotions, we have control over our nervous systems, and also have more control over our pain. Remember, anything you can do to a crying baby, you can also use to help yourself!
- Use those breathing hacks!
- Count to 10
- Throw something
- Scream
- Go to a smash it/ break it room
- Journal it out
- Speak up for yourself
- Get a hug
Regain a sense of control
“Another study among women found that anger was most often triggered by violations of personal values, feelings of powerlessness, and disrespectful treatment. The researchers suggested that women often feel anger when they want something to change but are unable to make it so or even get people to listen to them. But in this study, women were able to regain a sense of power when using anger to restore justice, respect, and relationship reciprocity.” (Thomas, Smucker, & Droppleman, 1998).
You are not powerless against your pain. When we really believe this and learn to manage our pain well, the feeling changes and dissipates. You have more control than you think you do. I can help. Click work with me to schedule a consultation.
Redirect
Next, we need to redirect our energy. Anger is a powerful emotion, and it can feel like it’s consuming us. But this same energy can be a catalyst for positive change if we learn to redirect it. This might mean channeling our anger into advocacy, using it to fuel our pursuit for better treatment options, or turning it into a driving force for raising awareness about chronic pain. This redirection not only helps dissipate our anger, but it also brings us a sense of purpose and empowerment, crucial elements for healing.
Stepping into Healing
Anger, like any emotion, is neither bad nor good. It’s simply a signal that something in our lives requires attention. It’s our response to this signal that can either help or harm us. However, when we’re dealing with chronic pain, it’s easy to feel consumed by this anger. The unfairness of our situation, the constant discomfort, the feeling of not being heard, it all stokes the fire of our rage. This is a completely normal and valid response. But what if we could channel this energy towards our healing instead?
Our path towards healing begins with awareness. We need to recognize that our anger, while it might feel overpowering, is not the enemy. It’s simply a part of our emotional landscape that we need to navigate. One of the most effective ways to do this is by cultivating an attitude of self-compassion. It’s easy to blame ourselves for our anger, but this self-directed anger only feeds into the negative cycle we’ve discussed. Instead, we need to remind ourselves that we’re doing the best we can under incredibly difficult circumstances. This compassionate perspective helps dampen the intensity of our anger and gives us the emotional space we need to start healing.
In the end, managing our anger and navigating our healing journey is a deeply personal process. It requires patience, resilience, and a lot of self-compassion. It’s about understanding that our anger is not a sign of weakness, but a testament to our strength and our ability to endure. It’s about acknowledging that, even though we’re living with chronic pain, we still have the power to control how we react to our anger. And with this understanding, we can step out of the cycle of anger and step into a journey of healing.
Further Reading
- Anger and the Brain: What happens in your head when you get angry (psychcentral.com)
- What Causes Anger and How It Affects the Body | Psychology Today
- Managing Anger: Tips, Techniques, and Tools | Psychology Today
- Self-Compassion – Restoring Venus
- Calming the Nervous System – like a baby
- Resilience – Restoring Venus
If you would like to explore your emotions more and learn to improve your pain – Check out this online self-paced course below!
