Why this blog:
I’m just a girl, a woman really, but a woman that lived a lot of my life in pain from a dysfunction in my pelvis, there are a lot of names for it, but I was taught to call it Sacroiliac Joint Dysfunction. It hurt, a lot, and as hard as I fought my pain took a lot of the things I loved about my life and who I was. This blog is about finding those things I loved and thought I lost, and learning who I am again.
Pain has a way of changing the way we interact with the world, ourselves and our bodies. It hurts us deeply in so many ways and this little corner of the internet is about me and my journey of rebuilding my life after healing from all that pain, and the thoughts I have that hopefully help you reclaim some of those lost loves, or at least see a spark of hope that we are works in progress and our value is not lost.
I have come to love the work of Art by the name Venus De Milo, also known as The Aphrodite of Milos. She is a work of art created long long long ago and is one of the most famous works of ancient Greek sculpture. The statue is believed to depict the goddess of love and beauty,Aphrodite, or in her Roman form, Venus. Her craftsmanship is amazing, and her worth is priceless and she stands, displayed, at an art museum in France, The Louver. Before being displayed in one of the most famous art museums in the world, she was found in the rubble of the ancient city, Milos in 1820.
This beautiful statue must have been a wreck when it was found, can you imagine the layers of dirt and grim, that might have covered this masterpiece? She had been buried there for how many hundreds of years? What of her arms? Where did they go, they were believed to have been there originally. For me this statue resonates with my heart. Something that was once vibrant and probably a centerpiece of activity had been hidden away and broken, seemingly forgotten about until the day she was accidentally found. She is not in the same shape she started, but now she is something more.
We are all masterpieces waiting to be found and restored. There are still so many reasons to hope, no matter where you are in your journey with pain and dysfunction. Your not alone, and you have so much to give. You, yes you, YOU have so much to give and share with the world, and I hope you are encouraged to restore your hope here.
Why I haven’t changed my journal:
I started writing my journey down when I realized that there were no stories or conversations about what happened after a surgical intervention – no matter what kind of intervention it was, people just disappeared from forums and facebook pages…. it was sad, confusing, and hard to try to make a decision feeling so alone. So I promised myself that I would write about my experience as it happened, while it was happening. I have tried not to go back and fix mistakes, or things I understand differently now – it was written the way I experienced it. I started my journey with this journal in a facebook group, and was then invited to join a friends blog – www.mysijd.com, and recently purchased my own domain to spread my wings a little more and see if I could fly. I often look back at parts of my journal and think… really?!! You thought that? or ummm ok you DID feel that- but what about all the other awful things you were feeling and experiencing? You didn’t write about those… why? Well, because I was writing as they happened, I was trying to maintain hope – to reserve the idea that I COULD get better. Not to mention if your reading this you already KNOW how hard hope can be to hang on to! I didn’t really feel like I needed to cover the stuff we all know! So as you read, remember that ok…. not all my opinions are the same today as they were the day I wrote them. Heck, they change through out the recovery process!
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