My brain is like a very fat tired hamster in a wheel. It squeaks and isn’t moving very fast. I had forgotten how much pain slows you down and makes everything a million times harder. It’s hard to focus in class, on my studies, on the words coming out of people’s mouths! It’s really hard to be engaged with the world around you when you are troubleshooting allllll the time.
Being in pain in the regular world is hard. There are stairs, ramps, long hallways, uncomfortable chairs, and well, no acceptable places to lie down!!!! It’s just hard – and by It I mean EVERYTHING. Before I had surgery I didn’t have much going on… I mean other than laying in bed moaning and wondering how my life had gotten to where it had… how my pain had gotten so bad… I still felt like someone had turned off my brain back then, but this whole living a full life in pain thing… sucks! I know many of you work and are still very active and are living like this too. The choice to take meds to keep working to keep your insurance, or pay your bills… they aren’t easy.
Just remember, when it takes a little longer, or you have to triple-check something, it’s ok. You’re doing the best you can with where you’re at! Now if I could just remember that for myself!
