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Week 44-47

44 weeks

I’m finally starting to get over the hump of the whole adductor strain and subsequent hip bursitis. I’ve done lots of ice massage on the hip bursitis and it has really kept that spot inflammation in check and enabled me to not “nurse” that issue so much. I have been taping too, and that has really been a life saver through out. Especially now when I tape something that is irritated these days I feel normal, and I LIKE feeling normal.

For those that are interested here is a great explanation of when to use ice massage, and how/why it works.
http://www.my-physical-therapy-coach.com/ice-massage.html

I started swimming again and realized that I really LOVE the affect that swimming has on my mind set. It doesn’t matter if I am in for 5 minutes or 45 minutes – I just FEEL better. So I am glad to be back in the water again.

SO over all I am doing really fantastic. I am keeping up with my core exercises and balance training as well as upper body. I use my foam roller ever evening while we watch TV and just kinda take care of whatever needs taking care of. The difference is nothing is really slowing me down anymore. I can do all the normal house stuff, or sit in class, tuck my kids in… make dinner… I can’t think of anything that I can’t do anymore. I do think I avoid activities that cause me to lift lots of weight, or run up and down the stairs over and over and over… I tend ot not be as willing to head back up a 3rd or 4th time if the kids have forgotten something. But come one, I can’t be the only one that feels that way 😉

I still think I would benefit from a regular massage and did meet a guy that was really good at my last massage at the massage school… I should dig out his info shouldn’t I. I don’t feel like it is vital to my survival like I use to, but there are times I feel “tight” in a way that stretching by myself doesn’t really fix. Could be I am just spoiled after all that time with my PT… I am willing to accept that, but I do think that keeping the muscles that were hypertonic for so long stretched out keeps me feeling 100% and not just 97%.

What muscles are those you ask…. well… here is a list from Janada’s theory on muscle dysfunction. If you have had SI issues for ANY amount of time I encourage you to look into it.

Anyway here we go:
Muscles that are facilitated, short, tight, or over worked, or hypertonic:

Gastrocnemious and Soleus ( calf)

Tibialis PosteriorHip Adductors
Hamstrings

Rectus Femoris
Iliopsoas
Tensor Fascia Lata
Piriformis
Thoraco-Lumbar extensors
Quadtratus- Lumborum
Pectoralis Major
Upper Trapezius
Levator Scapulae
Scalenes
Sternocleidmastoid

Muscles that are Phasic, weak, inhibited
vastus medialis lateralis
Glutes: maximus, medius, minimus
Rectus Abdominus
Serratus Anterior
Rhomboids
Lower Trapezius
Deep Neck Flexors
Upper Limb extensors

Please note that this is more referring to a NEUROLOGICAL issue and not that muscles are “weak or strong” in the I go to the gym or lay around all the time sense. This neurological response CAN and I believe does influence the structure of our muscles, but this particular portion is a brain body connection… not just the idea of muscle mass.

What I think I still feel within my body is years of these muscles thinking it’s ok to be uneven… and when I push for the next step all the same muscles tighten up – but they tighten up to lesser and lesser degrees. Where 4 months ago they knocked my on my rear when stuff was flared up – now they don’t. I almost never hear from the piriformis anymore, but some of the other muscles that I was not able to address until later, like the ITB or ili0psoas… well… they just need a little more time to learn that they do NOT need to be on high alert all the time! Since it is building new pathways to the brain, there is nothing I can do to make that message memory any faster… the body sometimes simply can not be hurried.

I don’t doubt that I will be pain free any longer. I can’t wait for the day that these 2 little issues are over with. I fully expect that by my year anniversary of surgery I will be able to write … I am 100% pain free!!!!…. but I don’t feel right doing that until it is 100% true 100% of the time… so I will wait.

The trees have all lost their leaves around here and the wind is getting wickedly cold. It’s hard not to think back to this time last year anxious beyond description waiting for surgery… wondering if I would make it. I fear the ice and snow.

One of last years snows that has me mindful winter is coming! ( my adorable husband, Ben!)

I do NOT want to fall. The realization that a bad fall on the ice could mess up my surgery is… well…. it’s nerve wracking. I have told my dear husband that I am preparing to feel a little insane until I learn that the ice will not kill me… but I also don’t think I’ll be shoveling this year. We decided to invest in a big bucket of ice melt and keep it by the front door. I think that is a great way to make sure I can deice without having to balance out there! I think it’s a small price to pay for the amazing new life that is forming around me 🙂

and a small fun fact… a million years ago I promised my PT that I would teach him to swim better if I ever got better. Well, he’s calling in that favor and we are going to start swimming together after Thanksgiving. I like that I can pay him back by sharing knowledge and skill in something he wants to do, but MORE than that… I LOVE the idea that I get to say, ” OH, does that hurt? Sorry, what was I thinking!” or “sore… sore I can live with.” There is a GREAT sense of satisfaction at the idea of those words forming in my mouth. Should be really fun!

44 weeks 3 days

Why do I spend so much time still in the world of those that are dealing with SIJD? Are you kidding me? This was a version of a question asked of me earlier. The observation was that most people would have walked into the sunset after a successful recovery. I guess I am not other people… never have been, I’ve always been “different”. Sometimes it meant different – like the kid in the back of the classroom drooling on themselves and eating crayons, and sometimes it meant I just do things most others don’t chose to do. You get to decide which different I am.

But I’ll tell you this- as I looked for information on what the heck happened to all these people after they had SI surgery, there was virtually no information available. So how was I to know what my journey MIGHT look like? I had spent 18 years looking for professionals that could help me – and darn few were able….

So for me, I want to make a difference in how SIJD is treated and seen in the medical community. The only way I know how to do that at this point in my journey is to help patients try to educate themselves. Be it on surgery, prolotherapy, anatomy, muscle dysfunction and the complicated layers of that phrase….. if I have insight to share, I share it and I expect YOU, the reader, to CHECK the things I am saying against what YOU know.

When I was in youth ministry I use to tell my kids, you better be THINKING about how this stuff fits with what you know and believe. You have to TEST these things.. you can’t just let me tell you how to think, that’s NOT MY JOB. My job to SHARE information that I have with you and then YOU have to decide if it’s valid and fits your world view. NEVER believe something just because I said it.

Do I believe the things I say and the understanding I have of this condition at this time and place. YES, yes I do. I would say them if I had not put them through my process of dealing with information.

I understand that those that find this website are in the kind of pain I was in, sometimes even more. All I can offer is my understanding that is based on conversations with professionals, research, and personal experience. It’s your job to decide if you buy in or not too.
ESPECIALLY if you are going to have surgery – you NEED to know what YOU think is the cause of your pain and how your surgery will or will not address that.

45 weeks
It’s Thanksgiving and I have so much to be thankful for this year. We celebrated at our house again this year, and

Thanksgiving 2011 ( don’t mind my weird look, I was holding the dog until we gave up!)

as has become our tradition, each portion of the family brought something so that the responsibilities for the big meal are split amongst us. It was a delightful day. I was able to cook some of the meal Wed night, and then make the rest of the preparations while talking and sharing with family. All month long I have been trying to celebrate the things I am thankful for this year, and I have to say it put me in a better frame of mind. TO focus on what HAS been accomplished in all areas of my life, and not focus on the things I have not done, or that turned out poorly…. those days of focusing on those things, has not served me well.

Those days have strangled my hope. and when hope is strangled…. it’s hard to keep going.

So, I actively choose to hang tight to the positive. To add up all the small little baby steps and look at how far they have taken me. The contrast from where I was a year ago and today…. it’s those contrasts that show me just how far I have come. The first page of this journal… the Pre-op page was a letter written to Melany in Oct/Nov of this time last year. I am so glad I wrote it because it reminds me where I was at then, and where I am now.

There is MUCH to be thankful for. I hope you can find that in your life today.

46 weeks
I did it! I really did it! I have been saying forever that if I ever recover from this thing that I wanted to take my husband away on a short tropical vacation. I pulled the trigger and set up the vacation!!!!!!!!!!! The week of my 1 year surgical anniversary when I will be comparing and contrasting the abject fear I had about this surgery and my potential for recovery I will be doing so in the contrast of a cruise to the Bahamas!

We will have the most insane scheduled. One that I NEVER would have survived a year ago. The kids have an out of state swim meet, so we will travel to that the first part of the weekend, we leave the kids in another state swimming, while my parents come join them so we can head to Chicago to leave for Florida… we take our cruise that will be full of shore excursions, and SCUBA diving, and THEN when we come home less than 24 hours later I will get in the car with the kids and head out to my BFF’s place for the next 4 days. THEN I come home and go directly to class to start my 2nd semester of school!!!!!

THAT is an ambitious scheduled. And I am NOT afraid of it. I am thrilled that I am able to even MENTALLY consider doing all that stuff and GOING for 2 weeks straight.

I can’t think of a better way to celebrate a second go at life right now, and I can’t wait to share pictures with you

47 weeks –
I’m tired. Dead tired. I feel like someone drained the energy right out of me, as many other things! I can’t believe that life has gotten so far away from a pill regiment that I could FORGET for days on end to take a med. I take thyroid meds and kinda hoped that maybe I didn’t need them anymore…. WRONG!!!!! The tired is part study part lack of meds!!!!! I’ve been burning my student candle at both ends. I hate the end of semesters… never been very good at the whole cumulative test thing… especially if the information doesn’t build on each other. I can hardly believe and entire semester has passed so quickly. My body has continued to improve in ways that I can’t really explain, but daily life is easier now than in was in August when I started my new academic adventure. But I am dreading this final. I feel like so much is riding on it. With an A in the class I feel like a have a good chance at acceptance into the PTA program… or at the very least that I have done EVERYTHING within my power to do my best…. if I end up with a B in the class… I’ll have an ok shot….. My application is due the same time as my 1 year anniversary comes along. I find that an amazing contrast between where I was a year ago and where I am now. It’s hard not to be insanely grateful for every step and each load of pain free laundry or dishes. I find myself pretty reflective theses days… to where I was before the surgery compared to where I am now. I find that trusting my body comes easier. The mental fear are lessening their grip and I am conquering them by trying things, and using my body. I have not done a great job balancing school, family, and working toward the goal of being in a class at the gym. School and family – yes… not consistent aggressive exercise. Maintenance exercises at home. YES… upper body and lower… I do them at least 4 times a week sometimes more. I don’t ever want to lose that core strength- ever. I knew that the balance of life that I felt those few long months ago in the recovery process would not last. I am more balanced then before, but without a doubt I am still learning to rejoin my life to the fullest these days.


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