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My Musings

Conversations with a younger me

  As I approach being 3 years out from my SI fixation surgery I realize I have been asked the question, “Would you do it again?”.  Funny thing about life and most experiences is you grow through them, as a result of them, or sometimes in spite of them.  I hate when this question comes … Continue reading »

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Becoming… Perspectives from the other side

My perspective is shifting.  It’s crazy to watch it.  I see it in the way I think and they way I respond to people asking questions online.  I am really becoming a therapist. Its weird in a lot of ways and I feel like a split personality sometimes when working  with my patients.  I don’t … Continue reading »

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Clinging to what we know

We living in pain for days, weeks, months and years.  We go through medical professionals like tissue.  Sometimes as many professionals as tears we have cried.  They poke, they prod, they draw blood, they take images, they scratch their heads at the pain in our faces and have no answers.  So we move on… to … Continue reading »

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Tommorow isn’t promised, so “WHY NOT”!

I just left the hospital.  I had to say goodbye to an old friend today.  She’s the mom of one of my very favorite young life  kids, she and her husband treated me like family when I was in college.  So many nights hanging out with the kids at their house, relaxing in the hammock, … Continue reading »

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physical beauty

Every once in awhile a  brave soul asks about how those in chronic pain maintain a sex life, or feelings of being a sexual person, or even just feeling beautiful.  I’ve touched on this topic a few times through out my journey and find my in box full when I do.  It’s come up for … Continue reading »

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What brings you comfort?!

I think I am finally rounding a corner again after being injured again 8 weeks ago.  Its surprising, and nice to finally  feel like I ma following the  “text book”of healing and not mapping out my own route.  I saw my Primary Care Dr a few weeks ago to get cleared to go back to … Continue reading »

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Stuck: How do you know when to hope, when to adapt, and when to sit and cry?!

I have had the great privilege of meeting an outstanding human being over the last few weeks.  We have gotten to spend a few short hours together on Mondays and as I think about her, I think about all of us in the world of chronic pain and how we continue to keep on keeping … Continue reading »

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The things we don’t say, but we probably should…

With the “gift” of experiencing some of my SI pain again, I find myself wanting to write  many of the things that I thought when I was in pain ALL the time down.  I have had so many conversations with other friends in chronic pain about the things we think, and say to each other, … Continue reading »

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I’m sorry kids, Mommy can’t. – a bitter phrase

It has been a long time since I have uttered these words due to pain.  The words tasted like battery acid crossing my lips, poison, foulness.  I uttered them again this week.  I am in full on -full blown pain.  The burning just like before surgery.  The burning that I have said repeatedly I NEVER … Continue reading »

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Why I study so hard… so I don’t do what others have done to me

School is winding down for the semester and I am ready for a month break and a chance to focus on some other things, like anything other than memorizing information!  I have a love hate relationship with school.  I love the information, I am learning tons, at a lightning fast pace.  I hate tests and … Continue reading »

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